"Have you been thinking all along that we have been defending ourselves before you? We are speaking in Christ before God. Everything we do, beloved, is for the sake of building you up."
(2 Corinthians 12:19)
Families can be messy at times. Relationships can be messy at times. Churches (and church families) can be messy at times. Paul knew this. He'd helped establish quite a few churches in his time. The letters we have in the New Testament are often focused on the "messiness" of churches (and relationships).
Some even questioned Paul's motivation & leadership. Did that hurt him? Probably. I can't see how it wouldn't. But he didn't let it get him down. He simply explained his bottom line: everything he's done has been to build up the believers in their faith.
We pastors are definitely human - complete with faults, failures, and insecurities. Occasionally we begin to think our churches revolve around us. We may even operate out of selfish motives from time to time. But Paul reminds us where our focus should be: always building up the church. Always It's not about us. It's about Jesus. And helping our people grow.
(Funny how times of pastoral transition help remind us that!?!)